


do you go up?

by arthur_pendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Heartbeat Kink, M/M, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Possibly Unrequited Love, Series 4/5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 09:37:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21134576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arthur_pendragon/pseuds/arthur_pendragon
Summary: Arthur's chest aches when he first notices it.





	do you go up?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [schweet_heart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/schweet_heart/gifts).

> a fill for a prompt at the new kink meme.
> 
> this, like the fic i deanoned on a couple hours ago, was written AAAAAGES ago, and the only reason i'm crossposting this to ao3 rn is so that i can successfully shame myself into finishing the fic. i've always regretted not finishing my kinksofcamelot wips.
> 
> i might deanon on other wip stuff too (there's at LEAST two still languishing on the meme). if you're subscribed to me, sorry about the spam!

Arthur's chest aches when he first notices it.  
  
They're out on patrol; it's their twelfth (and last) day in a damp, cold forest that seems to have gone on forever and ever. Arthur and the six knights he took with him have managed to rout what few bandits and smugglers they found, complete idiots who would attempt to survive Camelot winters in the _forest _without the constitution or viand-store of a knight.  
  
Elyan, the son of a blacksmith, however inexpert, made sure that the fire he got going will persist for a while, keeping them warm until the knight on watch feeds it again. They still end up having to sleep close to one another as a precautionary measure against the freeze.  
  
Arthur keeps third watch, sitting up in his bedroll, listening to the embers of the dying flame crackle. Dawn isn't too far off and his knights seem to be cozy enough that Arthur doesn't have to get up to find dry wood.  
  
Merlin twitches in his sleep beside him.  
  
"Arthur," he whispers.  
  
Arthur glances at him. To think Merlin's dreaming about _him_...  
  
Merlin twitches again and rolls onto his side, facing Arthur. He was already pale, but this winter has bleached him further; he nearly glows when the meagre light from the embers reaches him. Arthur purses his lips and silently slides a finger over Merlin's ink-dark hair, soft even in the damp cold.  
  
Ever since he became king, Arthur's chances to see Merlin, talk to him have reduced in number — Merlin wakes him in the morning, feeds and dresses him, informs him of his day's schedule, and that is that. At night, Arthur is often too tired to make conversation, and Merlin, unusually considerate, simply whispers good night to him before extinguishing the last lamp. Things were different when Arthur was prince; he would spend entire days with Merlin by his side, chattering away about nonsense while Arthur feigned exasperation but secretly listened with an adoration he would never admit to. He's missed Merlin terribly as a friend and confidant. And perhaps as someone Arthur will forever deeply cherish, but within the innermost recesses of his heart.  
  
"Arthur," Merlin repeats, still twitching, and it almost sounds like a sob. Arthur frowns, unhappy at the implications of Merlin's moue — why would he be having a bad dream involving him? — and gently slides back into his bedroll, potential bandit stragglers be damned, to better observe his manservant.  
  
Merlin seems to sense Arthur lying down beside him, for he shuffles closer, and closer, and closer until he's right next to him, sides flush.  
  
Arthur would wake Merlin up — he ought to, Merlin needs to go back to his own bedroll and let Arthur have his rest before he sits up again to continue the watch — but he can't. He can't do it. He's never wanted to deny Merlin anything.  
  
Right then Merlin rises slowly, still very much asleep, and rests his head on Arthur's chest, right over his heart. Arthur watches Merlin's agonised fidgeting smooth into utter peace, and his heart begins to thud loudly once he realises Merlin's motivation.  
  
Arthur had nearly lost his life the previous morning, when a smuggler had tried to use magic to subdue him. He'd survived the encounter with his knights, but Merlin had been quite curt with him the rest of the day. Had Merlin done this the previous night, too? Had he _in his sleep_ sought to listen to Arthur's heartbeat to soothe himself?  
  
Arthur's heart hurts now, from how strongly it's thumping in his chest so that the man listening to it can catch every beat and breathe better for it.


End file.
